Wipe Out!

Original post July 15, 2013 on WordPress

[I read while running on the treadmill- for me it’s two birds, one stone]

While reading an article about paddle boarding this morning I was thought it would be an awesome thing to try. Being out in nature on the water and focusing on balance all sounded like a wonderful way to practice mindfulness.

I pictured our summer vacation spot where the Mississippi River meets Lake Winnibigoshish (Becker’s Resort and Campground http://www.beckersresort.com/ ). They have canoes and paddle boats, surely I could try paddle boarding there as well. I had the scenery perfect in my mind: calm river, tall pine forest all around, warm sunny weather with a slight breeze, maybe even an eagle flying overhead (there was a nest there last year), I was standing up on my board and paddling quietly along. (Even though I was running at the time of this mini mind vacation I was feeling serene.) Then my little shadow (fear) crept into my happy place and gave me the image of falling off the paddle board INTO the river where there are fish (big & small), cray-fish and snapping turtles (we’ve seen some pretty big ones there over the years). Not to mention weeds and mud. Instantly my serenity was taken over by fear and a feeling of being petrified (still able to run though ;). My chest tightened, breathing became a little harder/ faster, and a feeling of panic washed over me as though I was in the water now and had to get out as fast as I could before something bit my toe or a weed brushed against my skin. My feeling of inspiration was no longer flowing. It was replaced with a HUGE block of fear, stuck energy, loss of control.

Popping out of that imagery I was able to reflect on what had just happened. I observed myself as though I was a third party observer. Clearly I have hang-ups: Control issues and fear of pain. The next thing I can do is go back to my peaceful imagery and purposely fall off the paddle board but (now knowing that creates a fear response). I will imagine the fall going good- maybe even dive in. I will see the fish swimming around me minding their own business. The snappers darting off the other direction because they are more afraid of me than I of them. The Cray -fish doing the same. The weeds clear in certain areas, showing me the best path to swim. I even get to see a lily pad and its flower up close as a dragonfly lands on it.

The sun is still shinning. The sky is still blue. Life is still wonderful. Inspiration is flowing again :)